he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
