He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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