you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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