Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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