no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
