the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
