I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
