the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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