you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
