I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
