he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
