At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
