which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
