What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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