we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we're so committed to being not committed
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