I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
