nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
