drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize