super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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