Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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