Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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