Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
