Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
