Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
...so i touched it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
