while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
