think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
