Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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