She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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