I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
