I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
