my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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