my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
