I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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