Midget sex pt 2 tonight
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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