that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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