whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
