Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
So. Much. Porn.
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