he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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