yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
