We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
