Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
