Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
