She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
