How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
two words: eviction party
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
