we're blogging at a bar
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
