It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize