he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
