**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Text me some of your sweat
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
