apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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