I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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