You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
