U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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