Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
