My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
