I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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