His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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