My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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