i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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