I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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