i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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