She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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